For People Who Struggle With Depression, I Wish Them Read About Adlerian Perspective
It’s you who have the power to change your world, how you see your past, and create the future you want.
I had never self-diagnosed that I have a mental health problem. Especially depression, I will be ashamed if I have one. I don’t know what it takes to experience depression. I don’t know what it means either.
But, I am not gonna lie. There was a low me. I had experienced the loss of hope. I saw my world in a pessimistic way. It happened when I took a gap year to explore myself.
There was a time when I looked at myself and I said, “I haven’t been prepared for this stage: to be an adult.” I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to be. Let alone to be a useful person around loved ones.
It was me when I was 18th. Then from there, I wasted half of my uni’s life being a negative person. I blamed the world for unluckily being me.
Slowly things change. A lot changed me. Whatever happened in the past, I can say I am happy with myself now and I am an optimist. What caused it?
Before I knew it, I already applied the Adlerian perspective, but I wish I knew it earlier.
About Adlerian Perspectives
Adlerian perspective is not talking about the cause of the pain rather he offers effective ways how to transform the pain. In the end, we want to be healed not to be returned to the past or pain, right?
In short, it’s on you. You have the power to determine your future and to free yourself from the shackles of past experiences.
From Adlerian perspectives, we can develop the courage to change and ignore the limitations we place on ourselves.
What the requirements to liberate our real selves and lasting happiness?
Below are 3 ways that you can try to turn your life around.
Fix interpersonal relationship problems
Trauma doesn’t exist. Admit that happiness is something you choose, so does unhappiness. So if you are staying on your trauma, you are making yourself complicating it. If you just can accept what happened to you and move on, it’s done.
We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give to them so make it serves your purpose.
However, people like to play themselves on a victim mentality. It doesn’t make you become good, instead, you torture yourself more by letting it affects you again and again. You let what you feel and how you feel dictated by the attacker.
You think by live on your trauma the attacker’s life will be worst? No, the attacker’s life is fine, but your life is not. Look at yourself! From when you’re being injured till now, you’re still torturing yourself or even make it feels more hurt than it first feels.
Courage to change
People can change. Whoever, anywhere you are, you can change. The first step to change is knowing. Knowing that your personality isn’t going to basically change, but your lifestyle can.
The lifestyle you have is something you choose for yourself and it encompasses your outlook on life. We know that we were born with the home environment we don’t choose, parents, race, nationality, culture, etc. But by the time you knew it, you can’t be innocent anymore. You now can choose consciously the kind of self you want.
What you do with it from here on is your responsibility. It’s up to you.
However, if you can’t change, it’s because you are making the decision not to. For example, you want to live like another person, you said, “If only I can be her, I will be happy.” By wishing you are somebody else, you can’t change because you make excuses by that possibility that you know won’t ever happen.
If your change agenda want to be a writer and fail, so be it! Because later you know that you grow or you choose to pursue something different. Unless you write anything, you won’t know.
Contribution to others
You are not the center of the world. If what you are doing is only revolving around you, it what makes you feel lonely. Being alone is not causing you loneliness at all, it is the presence of other people. You feel the feeling of not belonging. Why? Because you don’t care about them, you only care about yourself.
If you shift your perspective that there’s the world outside you, that you are the part of the world, you will have a sense of belonging. It what makes you have meaning in your life. If you are only with yourself all the time, how can you make yourself have meaning? It’s because the other people here you can be a useful person.
Those of us who give or are given, make us feel “I am useful to someone”. It makes our being in this world worth it.
