4 Books That Eventually Make Me Learn How To Love Myself
Here’s the hint: self-love is life’s work. You never truly absolutely love yourself every time and it’s fine.
Loving myself is not easy. Eventually, I learned how to love myself after I had experienced a bad breakup.
In May of 2020, I was experiencing the first hurt because of a breakup. It was really bad. I lose 3 kgs. I couldn’t fall asleep, I lost my appetite, my mind couldn’t stop thinking about him even if I went out with my friends, and my heart wanted to burst out every time I think I lost him forever. All I wanted to do was to see his face. Two weeks trying so hard playing it cool, I couldn’t help anymore. I asked him to see me. After that met, I was finally can sleep like a baby.
In June, I tried to not lie. I was tired of crying myself to sleep. I called him, but he never responded to me. It was too late. I thought my absence bothering him. I saw the sign, but still, I filled my head with a good thing about him. I wanted to convince myself so bad that he was the love of my life. It continued till November, 5 months I chased him. Then I knew something that finally relieved me. I let him go finally.
Looking back, I was so miserable. I had pictured myself when I had my breakup. I saw myself thru pictures. I can tell that I was in pain, I really looked bad. I’ve never been like that before. My ex really broke me, but I wish he is sleeping soundly without a thought of me poisoning his mind.
Why was it took me five months to finally let him go instead of from day one of breakup to looking for myself?
Because I didn’t want to. The idea of being with someone who loves me was so comforting that made me don’t want to leave my comfy place — him. However, I figured out later that it happened because I didn’t settle with myself. I need him to fill me instead of filling my own cup. After all, you can’t be pouring from an empty cup. My heart was empty. I didn’t like myself, I didn’t love myself, my body, and my life. I was empty. I never had enough.
Then universe guided me to read more books about love. I never wanted to before. I thought it was not necessary. However, I let myself to because I finally had enough. The pain was too great. That’s it. I’m done.
Then everything changed. The first book about self-love amazingly changed me. Not only it taught me to love because I have love, but also because I am love.
Love is a part of us. You will understand the idea of it if you make a try to read the 4 books below. These 4 books worth so much time for you to read them. Even I want to have the hard copy version (so if you want to buy me a gift, these books please).
While I forgot how it feels to be at my own company, I am thankful for all the authors who made the great work came out here. So the five books I really loved are:
1. The Woman I Wanted to Be by Diane von Furstenberg
Diane became my role model to be a woman with a class when it comes to fighting heartbreak. She reminded me how to look after myself. It is a rough rule not to leave what I have only to be in a relationship. If I do so, I will pay the price: losing myself. It even doesn’t worth the sacrifice because when I lose myself, eventually I will lose whom I love too.
I have to be in comfort about how I am in the world. Without it, I will have the need for validation from others, especially from the one we love. Without it, we have the urge to be in need of acceptance by the one we love. We are willing to change our tastes to look after him. In the end, we lose our personality.
Reading this book taught me to have a good relationship with myself. It’s the foundation to have a good relationship with others. First, I have to be independent before I can be interdependent.
2. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant
This book taught me not to be ashamed of my story. Kamal wrote this book beautifully resonates with me. He showed me how to be brave to share my truth. He didn’t say it randomly, but because he had experienced it. He also writes this book because he once experienced a bad time, including a breakup. That experience saved him and started to learn to love himself.
By loving ourselves, it becomes our compass in everything we do. If we are in a confusing situation, mostly ones that don’t serve us, we can tell ourselves, “If I loved myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this?”
When we are in a positive mental state, loving ourselves, we invite the good things coming into our life. We even can tell the exact same memory differently when we are miserable versus when we are happy. We will be focusing on the negative parts, but change the filter while we are feeling good about ourselves, the same memory will be beautiful, right?
Love yourself like your life depends on it is the formula to have a happy life, to let yourself glow, to love for life, to naturally beautiful. Why? Because as you love yourself, life loves you back.
3. Being in Love by OSHO
What is love? How we can love ourselves if we don't know what love is? By reading this book, you will find the answer. One thing I learned about love is it’s not fear. Love is about the courage to let it go. So there’s no need to be afraid to fall in love because even if the relationship dies, you will learn what you want and don’t want. The ended relationship means good that will make you find the truer, more solid, more concerning the essence.
This book talks about love in a relationship, how we can be in a beautiful relationship. The rules are 1) Just be happy, 2) Always remember to be happy, 3) A happy person has to share. Love is about share. You have so much so you want to share.
The thing is if you are happy being alone, you will see the beauty of being interdependent. If you are happy and the relationship happens, you’ll feel good, you share, but you are ready to leave it because you are happy without it. You are not addicted and you are not a slave to it because you’re not dependent on it.
4. The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
This book does not only make you know what is love but will make you realize that it’s you. It starts from yourself. It’s about honoring the God inside. The harmony between your body and your mind, how aware are you of it? If you are in tune with both of them then the relationship with anyone will be perfect. The rule is you have to accept yourself completely so you can have the eyes of love, you see love everywhere. By the time you reach it, you know we just live love because it’s the way we are. And love is all about action.
You know the feeling when you are found the book that you’re searching for? After I read those books, I had a feeling that I wanted to hug those books because it made me find my friend who understands me so well. Finishing those books creating a smile on my face. I wish made you too. Happy reading!
